I Digress

You are the sun. I am the moon. You are the words. I am the tune. Play me.

Last night Jimbo and I and several thousand other fans ranging in age from early twenties to near death attended the Neil Diamond Concert at the Arena. All in all, it was not a bad way to spend a Monday night in J-Ville.

Before the concert, we had dinner at Mudville Grille. The place has changed since Pat's semi-glory days at Bishop Kenny. I had expected there to be some early arriving Georgia fans. The Florida-Georgia game, aka The World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party, is this weekend. The RVs have already started arriving. But I guess Mudville is a bit seedy for out-of-town visitors. There was a group of apparent redneck regulars at the bar. They were making fun of Neil Diamond, kidding each other that one or another of them was planning to sneak out and go to the concert. Then they started singing Neil Diamond songs. They knew all the words too. Could at least one or two of them be closet Neil fans?

We almost missed the opening because of the traffic. Jacksonville can handle the crowds for football games but they don't use the police for other events. Maybe Mayor Peyton is trying to save some money to bulk up the seriously underfunded Better Jacksonville Plan. We ended up parking farther away than we had planned, thinking it would be faster to get to the arena on foot. It was. Jim strode purposefully while I ran along beside him. It's the difference in height that makes a difference in stride. Whew. I know I got more of a workout.

Jimbo is The Neil zealot (having seen him in concert more than 3 times) but I must admit, I rather unexpectedly enjoyed the concert too. I know all the words to Sweet Caroline, I'm a Believer, Red, Red Wine, and most of the words to Cracklin' Rosie. It seems Jimbo knows all the words to all of the songs. Neil Diamond is 64 years old and surprisingly, the average age in the audience didn't appear to approach that. Some of the younger fans in our section were singing and clapping along with the old standards. While the band and the backup singers took a short break, Neil Diamond was onstage the whole time. Jim was disappointed that Neil didn't have any costume changes and the one outfit he wore was fairly conservative---just a smattering of sequins. Pat would have enjoyed the concert and, and in fact, he was given a credit card and instructions to buy the tickets and mow the grass while we were out of town. He did neither.

First they say they want you....how they really need you...........

Soooooo. He missed the concert. Maybe he'll make it next time if old Neil survives this tour. I know Jim would go again and...so would I.

I was reading The Life of Pi and I was so engrossed by the tale that I briefly considered skipping my planned golfing trip to Gainesville. I decided to go for the golf because the only way to play at The University of Florida course is to be accompanied by a student or alumnus and I didn't know if I would ever get the chance again. Besides, I had already committed to being the chauffeur. The book would have to wait.

Jimbo graciously granted me persmission to use his van to transport my friends Amy, Robin and Margaret to Gainesville. We left early in the morning so that we would have time for a leisurely breakfast at Shoneys in Starke. I wanted time to show them the Baughman Center where Owen and Michelle had been married and the Sweetwater B&B where the reception had been held. Along the way, I pointed out The Swamp where the rehearsal dinner was held and Durty Nellies where the under-thirties had repaired after the wedding. Robin is the Gator alum but apparently these establishments were established well after her graduation from UF. She was familiar only with The Swamp because she still goes to all of the home football games. She has had occasion to enjoy a pre-game drink or two there.

I enjoyed the day though I did not play well. The course is not difficult but it was unfamiliar and I think I approached it more tentatively than I should have. Once again I wondered how special it must be to feel so strongly about a school. Robin is an ardent Gator and she dressed for the occasion in the requisite orange and blue. While we were waiting to get out on the course, I saw an elderly couple approaching the first tee. Dragging their pull carts behind them, they both proudly sported the colors. They were very Old Gators. They looked at us as with some disdain, as if they found us wanting, or at the very least, not Gators. I envied them.

This evening I finished The Life of Pi. Wow.

I must admit I am still a bit high from the anesthetic. Good stuff. I had my colonoscopy this morning and it's all good. They even provided photos of my lovely, healthy colon and cecum. I may carry them in my wallet for the next time someone shows me pictures of their kids or grandkids. It you've never had a colonoscopy, you've just got to try it. The girls at Bishop Kenny would be all over it if they knew you could lose 5 pounds over night. Actually I had lost 3 pounds through Wednesday by dieting and exercising. The remaining 2 and 1/2 pounds were as a result of drinking what can only be described as the nectar of the godless. 1/2 gallon of really gross stuff--even with the lemon-lime flavoring. The preparation is far worse than the procedure. In fact, I have no memory from when they asked me to roll over on my side to when I woke up in the recovery room. I don't even remember getting dressed. Jimbo said I DID NOT fart which is amazing.....not that he said it, but that I didn't.

Jimbo fixed me a great egg and cheese breakfast when we got home. I am feeling very mellow still. In fact, I sent a welcome back note to a VP at work. I know her through golf and not through work. I would probably find her intimidating if I had met her through work. As it is, my lack of inhibition at the moment allowed me to send the welcome back message, complete with the lyrics from Welcome Back Kotter. When I read this later, I will probably quote homer Simpson, "dohl." But for now, like Tony the Tiger, I'm feeling greaaaat!

Yesterday was not a good day for my ego. Jimbo was voted Human Hotdog at school. Someone (and I don't know who) thought it would be a great idea to surprise him by having me show up at the ceremony. I agreed, reluctantly. I stay away from his school as much as possible. The only time I have been there is to watch baseball games and once to see him portray the Wizard in the school's production of The Wizard of Oz. Otherwise, I visit the school about as often as he visits my workplace. Almost never.

I told the woman who contacted me that I did not want to be the center of attention. I would come but I wanted to be on the periphery. Why? Because I don't like school kids. They are mean self-centered little people. One-on-one they are fine but as a group, forget about it. If I liked them, I would be a teacher myself. Anyway, I made it clear that I did not want to be onstage in any fashion. I arrived at the school when I was told. Then I had to stand around for what seemed forever and wait for the ceremony to begin. Finally, Jim, in full hotdog regalia, was brought in on a golf cart. Sally, the Head of School was dressed as a bottle of ketchup. Another teacher was dressed as a bottle of mustard. The kids were armed with bottles of real ketchup and mustard that they were to dump all over him.

Long story short, they made me come up front and introduced me as the Wiener Man's wife. Sure enough, as I turned and faced the audience, I heard some little kid say, "She's ugly." Ruined my day and it was not even 10 am. As the kids started pouring condiments over Jim's head, I made my exit. I later e-mailed him and told him what had happened. Needless to say, I have made my last appearance at the school. Being married to a teacher is like being married to a minor celebrity. The family of said celebrity is open to judgment by the students, parents and faculty members. I'll tell you what. They won't see my mug, ugly or not, at that school again. My fragile little ego just can't take it.

My birthday celebration continues. I was invited to the Pizza Palace in San Marco by a few friends. Because I am seriously trying to diet, I had spinach pizza. At least the spinach part is healthy. Also had two Mich Ultras but, heck, it's low carb. One of the chix, Gina, is going to Sacramento for a wedding next week. She and her husband are also going to San Francisco for a couple days. Her cousin's daughter is the one getting married and she and her fiance live in SF now. I told her about my son and daughter-in-law who just moved to San Francisco and she thinks we should hook them up (old school definition, that is). I don't think Owen and Michelle know many people in the area, so maybe it would work out. Gina is really funny. She has a dry sense of humor like I do so maybe her cousin's kid would be a good one O & M to meet. She also said her cousin is a big deal in the Bay Area and knows lots of influential people. We'll see. I am playing golf with her on Saturday and we'll talk more about it then.

I got some bad news yesterday. Early this year my cholesterol was up to 269. I dieted and exercised and 3 months later I had gotten it down to 207. I lost some weight and was getting close to a healthy BMI. I looked okay for my son's wedding in July. At least I don't think he was embarrassed by his mama. People I hadn't seen for some time commented on my relatively svelte appearance. Then I just totally slacked off. No excuses. I did get some kind of flu of the non-avian type and I was out of whack for two full weeks. That doesn't explain all the other slacker weeks though. My exercise program has been intermittent at best for some time. Publix and Winn-Dixie keep putting ice cream on sale at ridiculously low prices. I stopped eating Weight Watcher bars and started eating low fat Edys.....lots of it.

Bottom line, I went for another physical and my cholesterol is back up to 266. The doctor is letting me try diet/exercise one last time. I have gained 7 pounds since my last visit a few months ago. That is a lot for me because I am only 5'1" if that. So I am back on old tried-and-true Weight Watchers, riding my new bike, and using the new treadmill. I can go 2 miles without getting too rubbery-legged. My plan is to do weight training on M-W-F and cardio every day. I get my blood tested again in January. If the cholesterol is not down significantly, I will have to get on Lipitor or one of those other meds. I really don't want to do that.

I am also taking part in something called YFL at work. We have a YMCA on premises. YFL lasts for 6 weeks. 5-person teams compete each week. We earn yards for exercising. For example, a 20 minute walk is worth 5 yards. At the end there is a Superbowl between the top two teams. It starts next Monday and I am looking forward to it. I did it a couple of years ago and enjoyed some success. It's just that I keep gaining and losing the same 15 pounds. Still, it's better than gaining 15 and then another 15 and then another 15.............

Jimbo is in the process of figuring out how to get our new treadmill into the bedroom. Only the family room is large enough to easily accomodate it. The equipment has been residing in the hallway for the past week, ever since we picked it up from Sears. Jimbo is removing certain parts in the hope that we can then fit it through the doorway. I hope he remembers where they were.

My new bike is in the garage. I bought a basket for it so I can ride it to Publix when the gas prices get too high (which could be any day now). It's a no-frills bike. No gears or anything. I hope I don't look too much like Margaret Hamiliton when I am riding it. Deh-Deh-Deh-Deh-Deh-Deh.

Today is the first day of the rest of my blogging life. I called it "I Digress" because I usually do. I have no idea what I will be writing here but I know that I will be writing something. It may not be good but it will be all mine.

Today is also a lousy day. Tropical storm Tammy is crossing the peninsula and the weather is not good, though it is certainly nothing FEMA needs to be concerned about. I should have started this yesterday because that was a good day. The people I work with pitched in and bought me a bike for my birthday. Unbelievable. This was on the heels of my supervisor informing me that I intimidate the people who report to me. Either my boss is misinformed or she just doesn't get me. I saw a new word today, sarchasm: the gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it. I like that.