I Digress

Yesterday was not a good day for my ego. Jimbo was voted Human Hotdog at school. Someone (and I don't know who) thought it would be a great idea to surprise him by having me show up at the ceremony. I agreed, reluctantly. I stay away from his school as much as possible. The only time I have been there is to watch baseball games and once to see him portray the Wizard in the school's production of The Wizard of Oz. Otherwise, I visit the school about as often as he visits my workplace. Almost never.

I told the woman who contacted me that I did not want to be the center of attention. I would come but I wanted to be on the periphery. Why? Because I don't like school kids. They are mean self-centered little people. One-on-one they are fine but as a group, forget about it. If I liked them, I would be a teacher myself. Anyway, I made it clear that I did not want to be onstage in any fashion. I arrived at the school when I was told. Then I had to stand around for what seemed forever and wait for the ceremony to begin. Finally, Jim, in full hotdog regalia, was brought in on a golf cart. Sally, the Head of School was dressed as a bottle of ketchup. Another teacher was dressed as a bottle of mustard. The kids were armed with bottles of real ketchup and mustard that they were to dump all over him.

Long story short, they made me come up front and introduced me as the Wiener Man's wife. Sure enough, as I turned and faced the audience, I heard some little kid say, "She's ugly." Ruined my day and it was not even 10 am. As the kids started pouring condiments over Jim's head, I made my exit. I later e-mailed him and told him what had happened. Needless to say, I have made my last appearance at the school. Being married to a teacher is like being married to a minor celebrity. The family of said celebrity is open to judgment by the students, parents and faculty members. I'll tell you what. They won't see my mug, ugly or not, at that school again. My fragile little ego just can't take it.